A couple of weeks ago, a glorious angel of a friend sent me a spreadsheet of over 30 brunches in the Orlando area. Oh, sure, she could have just scribbled down some brunch recommendations on a piece of paper, but these were organized by neighborhood, menu type, and even detailed if mimosas were bottomless and the cost of a Bloody Mary. Homegirl had done her research, and I was going to take advantage of her amazing detective work and test drive one of the options. Which brings me to… Sunday Funday Bottomless Brunch at The Porch in Winter Park. And the start of the Brunch Diary.
ManFriend and I were double-dating, and due to hectic work weeks, a Monday holiday (for some of us) and not having seen these friends in a while, the only request for the venue was free-flowing mimosas. Our old standby, Whisky Dicks, recently closed down (I’m putting my bets on money laundering or the filthiest kitchen ever) so I was incredibly grateful for The Brunch Spreadsheet to refer to.
Pro Bruncher Tip: The Porch doesn’t take reservations for parties under 6 people, so arrive by 11:15 (they open at 11:30) to stand in line and ensure you’re seated as soon as they open.
The Drinks: I picked The Porch because they were one of the options that didn’t pre-mix the mimosas. When you order bottomless mimosas, your table gets a bucket of ice with bottles of champagne. There’s a buffet bar that offers about 15 juice and fruit options for mixing. It was $15.99 for just bottomless mimosas, or $30 for bottomless mimosas and a brunch buffet. We went with the buffet… Which brings me to…
The Food: Meh. In general, I’m not a fan of buffets. They’re usually filled with carbs, cheap foods, and it’s really easy to eat things you don’t even really want or like just because it’s there and free. But, a Yelp reviewer mentioned an omelette station so I was game. Unfortunately… No omelette station. The buffet had the classic pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, “potatoes” (AKA tater tots), fresh fruit, and then offered some nice alternative touches like tons of cocktail shrimp, small pastry bites, and roast beef and pork tenderloin. I wasn’t very impressed but considering the goal is to get pretty drunk on a Sunday, I liked being able to grab snacks.
Which happens to be another plus: there’s no time limit for your table, and no cap on how many bottles you can get. (I’m sure legally there is some cap, but we drank pretty heavily and weren’t cut off so…) While people had children with them, I wouldn’t suggest it as a family place. In fact, I wouldn’t suggest it unless your goal is to get horrendously drunk on a Sunday morning. That was our goal. We accomplished that goal. (Surgeon Drinker’s Warning: don’t look up puppies on Craigslist while at bottomless brunch because you might end up going home with a Labradoodle. No? Just me?)
Look, there are plenty of places in Orlando that offer a nice, respectable atmosphere, a quality Bloody, and some Eggs Benny that is actually worth the calories. The Porch is not that place… But it does fill a much-needed niche in the brunch market for those of us that like to ease into adulthood by channeling our college drinking days once in a blue moon. (And now I could really go for a Blue Moon beer…)
(Find out if I actually adopted a dog post-mimosas here…)