D:C Goes Back to DC!

So much has changed here behind the scenes as I continue to pursue my curiosity, and while that’s meant a lack of sharing while I get settled, get ready for a resurgence of snark.

To make a very long, winding, and tedious story as short as possible – 18 months ago, I was ecstatic to move to Florida and leave my District life behind me. I’m convinced my life is God’s personal reality TV show, though, because April of this year found me back in Washington, D.C. This time, instead of feeling suffocated in my consulting role, frustrated by my living situation, and overwhelmed with graduate school, full time work, and a long distance relationship, everything is different.

I’m starting a new journey with a new company that empowers me, finally feeling like I have my professional footing when it comes to client projects. I splurged on an open studio apartment with a huge kitchen in a trendy neighborhood downtown, so that I have a space to make completely my own. I can walk to bars and restaurants. I quit CrossFit and went back to bodybuilding. And, probably most different of all – I am finally, finally content with myself.

So shit has changed… but don’t worry, I’ve kept myself entertained with the dating diaries, and have some snarky fodder and stories coming your way. Stay tuned for my continued adventure, this time as a single woman on the difficult end of the ratio… DC has 6 women for every 4 men, and is a gold mine of possibility for post-grads, on top of being extremely gay-friendly (though the current dickhole in the Casa Blanca wouldn’t give off that impression). That means my pool of options that are single, straight, and over the age of 24 is… limited. Get ready!


Coffee Shops in Orlando, FL

When life gives you lemons, put them in a fruit basket and go get some coffee… lemons don’t have caffeine. With the way things have been going in my crazy hectic rollercoaster of a dramatic life the past few months, I’ve gotten extra familiar with Orlando’s independent coffee shops. From working or studying to caffeinating with a cocktail, Orlando’s best are all here.

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Some Not-So-Obvious Online Dating Safety Tips

I am hardly the most cautious person, as evidenced by my blind-double-date at a stranger’s apartment and approximately 70% of all of the drunken decisions I made in college (no, YOU totally hitchhiked on Spring Break in Panama City Beach to the Waffle House…) Of course, with age and experience comes wisdom, so I’ve taken to a few tips and tricks that help me at least feel safer when I go on dates.

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Caffeine Confidential: The Double-Blind Date

Sometimes, first dates end up with you slumped against the kitchen cabinets, eating Cool-Whip out of the tub with a wooden spoon at midnight because you’re drunk and over it. Other times, first dates end laughing your ass off until 3am and then making out to the remnants of a well-intentioned but comically horrible “dinner party playlist.” Of course, because the rom-com version of my life is way more “com” and not so much “rom,” that hilarious, super-fun date was also the most random and millennial of them all.

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Caffeine Confidential: The Best of the Worst

Want to know how this whole Dating Diary began? Start here.

I feel like there are two perspectives from which most dating stories come from: a rant of the absolutely atrocious, and a ballad of the struggles that led to true love. This, and my experiences, are neither. I’m still single. There have been less than ideal dates, but nothing truly awful. This is from a perspective of self-empowerment.

But I know the awful shit is the funny part… you want to read and cringe along and be thankful it isn’t you. Guess what? It’s even better if you can find the hilarity in your own situations and laugh at yourself. I like to think of it as character building. So, without further ado, the best of the worst parts of those dates.

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Caffeine Confidential: All The First Dates

I heard a podcast a few weeks ago about dating like an economist… and since I’m sort of technically maybe an economist, I thought I should give it a try in my own life. Considering I’m currently working an incredibly flexible schedule and can’t do anything in moderation, I blindly told my friends I would copy the woman in the podcast and go on 50 first dates, while cataloging a spreadsheet of data about them.

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Top Tourist Spots on Oahu, Hawaii

It’s old news that I hate “touristy stuff,” but usually those attractions become so popular because there’s something great to see. Instead of completely avoiding them, I try to “game” the traps and am careful from diving in blindly to every up-sell or tour. Oahu is known for being a vacation destination, so there are a few must-see spots if you vacation.

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Hiking Oahu, Hawaii

While a Hawaiian vacation brings beaches and surfing to mind, I was pleasantly surprised to find endless trails to hike and explore on my trip. The island of Oahu is incredibly lush, with everything from fir trees to palms lining the trails. The trails themselves are diverse, ranging from steep abandoned-railroad “stairways” up mountains, to ridge hikes, shaded forested paths, and rocky beach paths.

The ridge trail to the first Pillbox in Lanikai

Here are my three favorite hikes, as well as links to extensive information about each.

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Brunch Diary: Stubborn Mule in Orlando, FL

The best way to avoid the Sunday Scaries is to get your bottomless brunch on. The second best way is to be unemployed and not have to face the real world on Monday. Not one to take the easy way out, I made sure I met both criteria and headed to Stubborn Mule downtown. If we just get right to it, it’s by far my favorite overall brunch in Orlando, and surpassed expectations for food, drinks, and service.

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